moving along

Thankfully, things are moving along this week and I officially have only one week left until freedom. I had my breakdown last week, I moved forward and I'm finally feeling like I've gotten things done. Earlier this week it felt like I worked, and worked and worked and worked. and then I ate something if I remembered to, and worked more after that. No time for sleep. And even on the nights I want to sleep, my mind is so active it won't let me. Last night was one of the worst bouts of insomnia I've had in awhile. I did so much work on so many different things yesterday alone, yet when I left the school at midnight with my work mounted for a morning critique, I felt like I'd barely made a dent in the massive load that has been weighing heavily upon my shoulders. But today, I kept on steady and got more done. Tomorrow will hopefully be similar.
On a truly positive note, I had my internship review with my creative director at redpepper last week and I am going to be able to stay on as an intern through the summer! He gave me a lot of positive feedback in terms of what he has seen in me and also a good number of things I should work on. I'm so grateful to keep this opportunity going, and I'm also looking forward to working there without so many classes. More time to learn about the working world, more chances to experience real life design and business problems and solutions. I'll have my one summer class and my internship, and hopefully a community ed class. I need a creative outlet that isn't connected to grades and they're offering some I'm really interested in taking. It'll be nice to get off the computer and just make things by hand. And hopefully, it will better my design work too!
As for now, I'm going to attempt to catch up on the sleep I've been missing for about a week now.

the breakdown doth cometh

so last week it happened. I broke down. I broke down in my Typography class because I was freaking out about all the work I had to complete in the short amount of time left in the semester. And I'm just being honest here, that I don't like to lose my composure in front of people, but that it happens and that I have learned to kind of embrace it, some times better than others. I tried to hide at first in the ladies bathroom and regain my composure but as soon as I began walking back to class and saw a friend, I broke down again in the hallway. And he knew exactly why I was upset, and he gave me a hug and said, "I was there two days ago. I know how you feel." And then more classmates and friends began to pass by and every single one of them stopped to hug me when they saw I was upset. Friends encouraged me, reminding me that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I couldn't complete a project, or if I couldn't make it as good as my "vision" for it was. Sometimes you can't get things done in the time alotted. A year from now, I won't be thinking about how my website wasn't a good as I wanted it to be... They also calmed the doubts I had swirling in my head, that I wasn't a good designer, that I wouldn't make it.
Standing in the hallway in Watkins, surrounded by the kind people I've been blessed to know, I began to feel better. I am so, so grateful for the people at Watkins. It is a community unlike any I have ever been in. My classmates are so kind and genuine, especially when they saw me breaking into pieces. And knowing they are in the same place makes it better too. They really do get it. My professor even joked that we all feel the way I do but I'm the only one brave enough to show it in public.
And so I share this as an admission of my humanity, but also to share about how wonderful the people are that I am surrounded by. Breakdowns are okay, and friends are there to hug you in the hallway.

the end is nigh

What's that I see in sight? The end of the semester?
Yes. yes it is!
Things are really busy as the last few weeks of the semester come upon us. But things are going great for me and I'm really happy with the work I'm doing. My internship is going great, I'm enjoying it so much.
Classes are intense, but good and I just completed my first ever flash animation. You can check it out here.
It was overwhelming at first but I really enjoyed creating it. We could do whatever we wanted so I used unusual collage elements that I have collected and one of my favorite songs by Jose Gonzalez.
I have a lot to complete in the next few weeks including two websites, a informational cd package, revising package designs, an annual report, and prepare for portfolio review. But I'm excited about all of them and I'm really looking forward to getting a break in May!

a decision to wait.

It's getting close to the end of the semester and the projects are certainly piling up. Flash projects, websites, magazines, annual reports, packaging- all need to be worked on and completed by the end of April. I really should be working right now but I'm pretty tired. I helped on set this weekend and they go pretty late and I'm still feeling it. I need to get motivated, but all I would like to do is take a nap!
But things are going really well, I'm really getting comfortable at redpepper and feeling confident there. I went to lunch the other day with two of the girls who work there as designers and they told me about their experiences at school, and graduating and then working. It was so nice to talk to them and it made me feel a million times better about graduating. I actually made a big decision this week to wait until the Spring to graduate. I started to think about how I would really be pushing it to take 12 hours of studio classes in the Fall to get out by December. 1, the economy isn't great right now and 2, I probably won't be doing my best work if I take on so many things in those months. I want to have the best portfolio I can, so it makes since to just take my portfolio class in the Spring so I can focus on that and I won't have any other classes to put time and energy towards.
I talked to my professors and my parents and I feel good about the decision. It lifted a big weight off of me. And I enjoy being at Watkins, so another semester is something to look forward to.
Well, I should go and do my work.

web design inspiration

I have been researching websites for inspiration in designing the ENF site and really enjoyed looking at the CSS Gallery from Design Shack. I've been getting great ideas from looking at all the different websites. Thought I'd share the goods.

spring break

I'm on my spring break right now and just returned from a roadtrip with friends to Texas. We went to Fort Worth, San Antonio and Austin. I had a really nice time, being in a different place and just relaxing. But I'm back in TN and ready to get work done. I've been working on my multimedia website for awhile. I am redesigning the website for my film friend's at Watkins: Eric Night Films. You can see their current site here. I plan on further developing the site and also adding Adobe Flash components to it. I'm really looking forward to doing another website. I'm going to try to get as much experience in interactive design and media as possible. I really hope I can take more multimedia classes and just complete as many tutorials as I can. Watkins is going to start offering concentrations in Graphic Design in multimedia and illustration, which is great, but I must admit I sure wish I would have had those as an option. None the less, I can learn more about those things anyway. I hope everyone is enjoying their time off and will feel refreshed next week.

internship update

I've been interning at redpepper for about a month now and it's been a good learning experience thus far for various reasons.
Probably the biggest thing I have struggled with is the feeling that I just don't know enough. I have been racked with the fear that I should be further along in my education at this point. For example, I should know how to use InDesign, one of the programs in the Adobe Creative Suite. I will skip the rant on why I did not learn it and just say I wasn't taught in the class I should have been taught in. So in the last week I was given an assignment to do in InDesign and I figured I had played with it enough to figure it out. Unfortunately I still didn't know enough of the basics and ended up staying super late at the office to complete it. I felt awful when my creative director looked at the project because I knew it wasn't up to par.
That night, I went home and did tutorials on InDesign.
Instead of feeling frustated like I have been for awhile, I finally snapped out of it and remembered that if I want to learn the program, that I need to go and do it. Sure it stinks that I wasn't taught, but I can be taught, and I can teach myself.
So the next day I went back to redpepper feeling confident and had a great day. I sat in on a few big brainstorming sessions and had a great time. I felt comfortable and spoke up when I had ideas. I even stayed late on my own choosing. I am determined to make this a good experience.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned thus far is that this is a learning experience. I am an intern and they don't think I can do everything. So I need to treat myself gracefully. And thank goodness this is an internship. I really would get a slap in the face if it were a real job and I couldn't perform. So now I will have a better idea of how a creative firm works and how I need to think and create as a part of it.
As soon as I snapped out of my frustration from my internship last week, it also lifted off the funk I'd been feeling at school. I felt motivated and inspired, and I plan to take that into the coming week as well.

I suggest to any student, at Watkins and elsewhere, to get an internship if possible. You can't learn everything at school. To really know how the industry works, you have to be immersed in it.